I Can’t Go On!

“I Can’t Go On!”

Just as Elijah faced his crisis, I faced one in June, 1998. During a vacation at Yosemite, I received distressed calls from my church, saying areas of my ministry were falling apart. It reinforced the lies within, and already depleted, I felt I could not go on.

But this crisis was nothing new. I was frequently at the end of my resources, and always did go on, in pain and desperation, whether I had the resources or not. I cried to God in my darkness. In the coming weeks, the Lord began not only bringing light, but to diagnose root problems that had chained me for most of my life. A starting place was the book Search for Significance, by Robert S. McGee. Now, at a point of great need, I grabbed the book like a drowning man clinging to a lifesaver. Unexpectedly, each sentence of the cure was a burning sword plunged into my heart. I found every sentence painful–it revealed the lies by which I was living. I also found that the nesting place for the lies were individual issues, battle grounds where these deceptions had taken root. In entries to come, I would like to take you to these areas. They may be ones you face.


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